September 23, 2004

Everyone wants to conform

[Liver Transplant Stuff] 
Yeah, they do.
Well, at least I do. Every so often, I wake up and am not aware that I am "special." Let's get this straight: I'm not sick; I'm special.
I'm specially immunocompromised and could die if I forget my meds. I'm specially bruisable because through life-saving technology my skin is, well, more fragile than before surgery.

I'm special because I actually received the greatest gift since I was born: life. I'm alive today because of this organ. I may miss being able to go outside when the sun is high in the sky, but I can still see sunrise and sunset.

Being a transplant patient is a mixture of emotion. Some days I'm so careful. And other days I simply do not care. With everything going on in my life lately, I've had more ups than downs.

I also work on the liver and kidney transplant floor now as a nurse. This has been one of the most therapeutic things I've done. I meet new and old transplants and see that I am not alone with my gift or in my battle. There are so many of us out there going through virtually the same thing. Years go by without a "speed bump," and we believe we are invinceable yet again. Then, the bottom falls out when you are feeling perfectly normal. It sucks, but the majority of transplant patients that I've met just step up to the challenge and roll with it. I see such courage in these people, and they give me strength for my next speed bump.

I love all of you who have helped me get this far, who have fought this battle with me, who have celebrated with me, who have loved me, and especially those who bring me hope.

Tomorrow will come, and it will be beautiful. I want to be there to see it. I want to be healthy. I want to live, and I just want to be normal.

Started:
2002-11-02 23:07:05

Finished! Today

Posted by erin at 19:07 | Comments (1)

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Comments

Everyone wants to conform

I think of you as a normal, fabulous individual who is strong because you have lived through some of life's most terrible moments. As Mame Dennis said, "Life is a banquet," and we are definitely having a full course meal. I love to see you happy and healthy.
Posted by:

MOM at September 23,2004 19:33

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